


There Like Before

by romanticalgirl



Series: Bring Him Home Again [5]
Category: Dawson's Creek
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-11
Updated: 2014-02-11
Packaged: 2018-01-11 23:05:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1179015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romanticalgirl/pseuds/romanticalgirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Originally posted 8/10/01</p>
    </blockquote>





	There Like Before

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted 8/10/01

Joey stared out the window at the street, watching the cars rushing by. "I'm sorry that he's late."

Jack shrugged and handed her a glass of wine. "It's all right. I'm sure he'll be here." He took a sip from his own glass, then sat down across the room from Joey. "Is this what it's like for you every time he's not where he'd said he'd be?"

"Even if he's just a second late," she admitted with a nod. "How sad is that? It's like there's absolutely no level of trust in our relationship."

"But you do trust him, don't you?"

Joey looked back out the window, refusing to meet Jack's gaze. "I suppose. But let's face it; I don't really know him anymore. He's not the same guy I grew up with in Capeside and he's sure as hell not the same guy I fell in love with my junior year of high school."

"You're not the same person either."

"I really hate this whole Sigmund Freud thing, Jack." Joey moved away from the window and sank into a chair. "You couldn't have decided to become a sportscaster or something?"

"How could I make your life a living hell if I'd done that?" Jack smiled and moved forward on his chair, leaning toward Joey. "So, what are you guys going to do?"

"Well, it's…" she sighed. "Pacey's greatest fear was always that I'd be more in love with Dawson than I was with him. I mean that's what facilitated this whole fiasco in the first place. You know and I know that's not the case, but it's still something that worries him."

"And you live with Dawson."

"And I live with Dawson," she nodded. "Despite the fact that he's never home and he and I have no sexual relationship whatsoever…"

"I'm pretty sure it's not the sexual relationship that has Pacey worried." Jack got up and grabbed the bottle of wine from the counter, bringing it back into the room with him. He refilled his glass, then did the same with Joey's. "I don't think there's a person alive who knows both of them that would doubt that when it comes to sexual prowess, Pacey's got it all over Dawson. I think that Pacey's far more worried about the fact that you and Dawson have this connection between you that borders on bizarre."

"We're best friends."

"And throughout your friendship and the subsequent fracturing that occurred in the wake of Pacey's confession of love, you reminded us all of the history you had with Dawson. How many times he was there for you, what he'd done for you, what he meant to you…I can only imagine that Pacey, who was around for a whole lot of those moments, felt a little slighted."

"Pacey and I weren't friends like Dawson and I were friends. He was more Dawson's friend than mine and the only reason that we hung out at all was because we were fighting for Dawson's attention."

"Right," Jack agreed, trying not to smile. "But tell me this, Joey. Inevitably, your mother's death comes into the conversation and you mention that Dawson was the first person to be by your side, the person who never asked you how you were."

"Right."

"Where was Pacey?"

Joey looked away from Jack's gaze, her face flushed. "It's not the same."

"And Pacey knows that just like you do. And you wonder why he worries about Dawson?" Jack shrugged and finished his drink. "You chose Dawson, Joey. If I were Pacey, I'd be just as…nervous about this."

"Fuck." Joey drained her full glass of wine and set the crystal on the small table beside her chair. "So what would you suggest, oh wise guru of the lovelorn?"

Jack smirked. "Right. I'm the love god."

Joey shrugged, "You've got more claim to the title than I do. What can I do to assure Pacey that I'm not in love with Dawson and convince him to open up to me, so I don't have to worry every second that he's not around? It would be much easier if I wasn't wondering if he was on his way or halfway around the world."

"He's here, actually." Pacey leaned against the door separating the kitchen and the living room. "Sorry I'm late."

Joey blushed and looked away, refusing to meet Pacey's knowing gaze. Jack stood up and shook his head, "No need to apologize. Did David let you in?"

"Yeah. He seems nice."

"He would be if, he weren't such a slob." Jack noted, as the object of their conversation joined them. "But I suppose I'll keep him."

"Like anyone else would have you," David laughed, slipping his arm around Jack's waist. "You didn't tell me your friend was so cute."

Joey laughed as Pacey blushed. "You say that about me every time, David."

"What can I say, Jo? You've bewitched me." David moved away from Jack and sat on the arm of Joey's chair. "What do you say? You and I can run away together and leave these two alone? They both look far too whipped to be any good to anyone."

"Well, I can't speak on Jack's account, but I know Pacey is."

Pacey cocked an eyebrow and looked at David as he shook his head. "Don't believe her. She's been around me for all of three weeks now and she thinks she can read me like a book."

"His cock is like a divining rod whenever I'm around," she stated. "If that ain't pussy-whipped, I don't know what is."

David laughed and hugged Joey around the shoulders. "Joey, you really should be a gay man."

"Well, I have to admit, by and large the options open to you are much better, but I suppose that I'll stick with what I've got."

Pacey accepted the glass of wine Jack had poured for him, taking a sip before responding to Joey. "Until something better comes along?"

"You feeling all right, Pacey?"

He turned his head to look at Jack curiously, "Yeah. Why?"

"Because I never thought I'd hear you admit that there might be something better out there."

"Well, I've got to give the rest of the world a little bit of hope."

 

~**~  
Pacey sat on the hood of his car, watching as Joey locked her own car door. "So, should I call you when I get home...or wherever else I might be going?"

"I didn't mean for you to hear that."

"Really?" He cocked an eyebrow knowingly. "And here I thought you were insulting and distrusting me on purpose."

"I can't help being afraid."

"Actually, you can. It just requires that you have some level of trust in me."

Anger flared in Joey's tone. "And how am I supposed to do that, Pacey?" She moved toward him, standing just out of his reach. "You've got a packed suitcase in the trunk of your car and this perpetual edginess that I don't know how to deal with."

"And the fact that I've promised you I'm staying means nothing?"

"You've promised me things in the past," she reminded him lightly.

Pacey slid off the car, careful not to touch her. "Goodnight, Joey."

She shook her head in annoyance. "You're not being fair!"

"I'm not?" He gave her a long look. "And the fact that you're judging me based on the person I was seven years ago in high school is fair?"

"How else am I supposed to judge you, Pacey?" Her voice raised, her tone hurt and confused "That's the only person I ever knew."

He chuckled softly, slightly bitter. "Goodnight, Joey." He moved past her and got into his car, pulling out of Jack's driveway without a glance in her direction.

"Not the best approach," Jack said softly as he walked up to Joey. "Talking might be better than accusing."

"Accusing is easier." She sighed and ran an exasperated hand though her hair. "Fuck."

"Yeah. Kind of."

"So, what am I supposed to do?"

"You might want to go apologize."

"And how do I keep it at just words?" She bit her lower lip. "The reason we haven't gotten to really know each other again, the thing...How do I keep from wanting to..."

"To what?"

"When I'm with him, alone, I forget how angry and hurt and afraid I am. And I just remember how it feels in his arms, with him inside me." She accepted the arm Jack placed over her shoulders. "How do I keep from wanting to fuck him senseless?"

He laughed and hugged her, turning her back toward the house. "Well, there are two different issues right there, Joey. If you guys keep fighting this fight, he's not going to be around to fuck you senseless."

"That's one," she acknowledged, looking back over her shoulder, even though he was long gone. "What's the other?"

"Just think how much better the sex would be if you trusted each other completely. Knew each other's thoughts and secrets, what you liked, what you didn't. Just imagine how it would be to get it right." He shrugged and opened the door, walking in while leaving her on the porch. "He's not going to stay if you keep pushing him away, Jo."

"I'm not pushing."

"You're not exactly making staying seem like the best option. You're what he has here, Joey. What he came back for, what he stayed for. You might want to remember that."

~**~  
Joey stood outside the door, listening to the silence inside. She was afraid to knock, afraid to step into the room, afraid to find him gone. Too many nightmares of just that had resulted in days without him, thinking he was dead. Too many nights of waking up to reality.

The door opened and he stood there looking at her, his blue eyes stormy. He looked angry and hurt, confused and frustrated. "Are you going to come in or am I going to have to listen to the damn elevator buzzer all fucking night?"

"Sorry." She stepped through the door, careful not to brush up against him as he stepped back out of her way. "I wasn't sure you..."

"Would be here? Would still be around?" He smirked at her as he moved toward the bar. "You want a drink?"

"Tell me, what right do you have to be angry?" Her voice was soft, but determined. "What right do you have to question me about how I feel?"

Pacey stopped and turned to face her. "What?"

"You want to know why I'm scared that you might leave, Pacey? You want to know why that fucking suitcase in your car hurts me? Do you?"

He opened a bottle and poured them each a drink. "Bourbon okay?"

"I spent years dealing with your death. I spent days and nights crying and missing you. I thought I'd buried my best friend, that I'd sent him to his death because I was stupid." She choked back the tears that threatened in her voice. "When you left me, a part of me died. I waited for that day in September when you'd bring me back to life and it never came. And now that I've got it back, I don't know that I can live without it again."

He set her glass on the edge of the bar. "Here you go."

"You don't get it, do you?"

"Get what, Jo? I hurt you. I'm sorry. I hurt a lot of people, so join the fucking crowd."

"But you loved me."

"I did."

"And I loved you. And it was just like my mom all over again." She met his eyes, hating the tears that now blurred her vision. "I lost the person who meant the most to me in the world."

"And just like with your mom, Dawson was right there beside you."

"I'm not in love with Dawson!" She screamed the words at him, flinging the contents of her glass in his direction for good measure. "I love you. I've always loved you. And it destroyed me when I thought you were dead! And if you leave me now, if you disappear again, I know I'm going to have to spend the rest of my life trying to find you. Because now that I've had you back, I can't live without you."

"Really."

"And I fucking hate that," she let the tears fall, unashamed of them. "I fucking hate that you own me, control me. I've fought to be my own person for so long, only to find out now that I'm at your mercy. The mercy of someone who doesn't even seem to give a damn that he can destroy me with a single goodbye."

Pacey stared at her for a long moment as she cried, the sobs gently quieting into soft hiccups. Finally pushing his alcohol-soaked hair away from his face, he came around the bar and sat on the stool beside Joey. "I thought you didn't even know me anymore."

"I don't," she admitted. "I want to, but I have to know that you're going to be here, Pacey. I can't...I won't invest myself in you if you're just going to run whenever it gets hard or painful."

"I've stayed this long."

"I'm not talking about admitting that you weren't dead. Relationships are tough, Pacey. We have to learn each other all over again and that's not going to be easy."

"Because it might all be wrong in the end?"

She nodded, lifting her hand to brush his hair away from his face. "I don't want to be afraid that you're not going to be there when I wake up, Pacey. And I'm trying not to be. But I can only keep believing that if you give me something to believe in."

He nodded, turning to look at the bedroom door. Joey followed his gaze, catching her breath at the sight of the suitcase that sat there. "Is that enough of something? Or do you need more?"

"Do you have more you can give me?"

He smiled at her and captured a tendril of hair, rubbing it between his fingers. "I love you, Joey. I loved the girl you were, and I'm rapidly falling head over heels for the woman you are." He smiled softly. "Will that work?"

She nodded, leaning down to kiss him. "It's a start."

~**~  
Dawson glanced up from the newspaper he was reading as the door opened. "The prodigal returns," he said lightly as Joey slipped in the door. "I'm surprised to see you. I would have figured you'd be somewhere underneath Pacey right about now."

"You're so catty," she stated with a smile. "You sure you're not gay?"

"Pretty sure," he acknowledged. "I've never had a burning desire to date anyone of the same sex. That, coupled with the fact that you shouldn't go into the bathroom without knocking, leads me to believe I should go with my gut instinct."

"Aw. You brought the latest one home for me to meet? Honey, that's so sweet." She sank down into a chair opposite him. "So, why is she in there while you're out here?"

"I heard your car."

"That's why you're reading the sports pages?" She grabbed the paper from in front of him. "Confess, Leery."

"She's boring me to tears. She wanted to talk about how transcendental sex could be. It made me long for the days of being a virgin."

"When you used to talk about how transcendental sex could be?" She kicked his shin under the table. "Face it, Dawson, you're an embittered man now. You've had sex and it perpetually doesn't live up to your hopes and expectations."

"Well, if you would just agree to have sex with me."

"We tried that once, remember?"

"Yeah." He gave her a searing look. "And as I recall, it was pretty fucking good sex, Jo." The heat of his gaze faded as he noticed the look on hers. Bitterness and resentment replaced desire. "But I wasn't Pacey, was I?"

"No." She gave him his answer with little inflection.

"And even though you'd never actually had sex with him, you knew that it would have to be better than whatever we had, right?"

"Why are we having this conversation, Dawson? It was almost ten years and quite a few lovers ago. Why are you dredging it up now? I thought we were both okay with it."

"I was okay with it," he admitted. "At least until he came back from the dead."

"And revived that whole stupid rivalry just by being alive." She nodded, as if it made sense. "You realize how stupid you sound, right?"

"Now I'm stupid and a bad lay. Thanks, Jo." He got up from the table and headed back toward his room. "You always did know how to bolster my ego."

"Why do you hate him?"

"Why?" Dawson turned around, his body half hidden in shadow. "You don't even see it, do you?" She shook her head as he walked forward, making sure she could see his face, his expression. "When he pretended to be dead, he didn't just fuck up our lives, Jo. He didn't just make us both feel like we'd done something wrong. He didn't just leave us to wallow in guilt and recrimination. He killed you. He took someone who had been alive and vibrant and smart and turned her into a shadow of her former self. He took the girl I loved to the grave with him."

Joey's eyes darkened as she stood up and moved to stand in front of Dawson. "He didn't do that to me, Dawson. I did that to myself."

"No, Joey. You just don't want to blame him; you don't want to be angry with him. You don't want to do anything that might just make him change his mind and disappear again." He shook his head and reached out, stroking a long strand of her hair. "Because you feel yourself coming back to life now that he's here with you. And you don't want to die again."

"So why aren't you doing everything to keep him here? Keep me here?"

He released her and headed back down the hall. "Because, I keep hoping that the shadow of you might fall in love with me. After all, I'm just a shadow compared to him."

~**~  
"You're here." Doug sounded somewhat surprised as Pacey opened the door for him. "And dressed."

"Which one is the most shocking?" Pacey's eyebrow shot up at Doug's tone. "I mean, I realize that very few people actually wear clothes before noon, but I didn't think it would be all that outrageous to do it just this once."

"I just...well, you and Joey went at it like crazed animals before you went to Mom and Dad's. I figured you'd be locked up in your bedroom rutting away at each other." Doug shrugged. "Either that, or you'd have crumpled under the pressure and taken off again."

"Your high opinion of me just warms the cockles of my heart." Pacey's smile faded into a tight line.

"Don't act so self-righteous." Doug moved past him into the living room, settling on the couch. "You brought this on yourself, little brother."

"When did I ask for doubt and ridicule?"

"About the time you walked away from the wreckage, Pacey." Doug refused to look at his brother as he sat down opposite him. "You can't be indignant when we treat you like you might just up and disappear. You may know that you're not the type to do that anymore, but we sure as hell don't."

"We? You been talking to Joey?"

Something in his tone brought Doug's eyes to his. "That's rich, Pace. You're going to hold one kiss up as a sign of some sort of ongoing illicit affair between us? She was eighteen years old and lost as hell. I don't think that's going to stand up to any kind of scrutiny."

"I didn't..."

"You've changed, Pace, I'll give you that. No one could have gone through all you did and not change. But there's no way in hell you've changed that much, so don't pretend your implication wasn't exactly what it was."

"Fine." Pacey shrugged, signaling his defeat. "I did mean something by it. And I apologize. But that doesn't answer my question. Have you been talking to Joey? Because you guys are singing the same tune."

"Yeah, how odd that two people faced with the reappearance of someone they both cared about and thought was dead, might both be worried he might disappear on them again when the going gets tough."

"Jesus Christ," Pacey spat out. "I've been in the same job for five years. I've lived in the same town for that amount of time. My last relationship lasted for two years. What more do I have to do to or say to prove to you people that I'm not running?"

"What was her name?"

"What?" Pacey sputtered. "What the fuck does that have to do with anything?"

"Did you tell her the truth? Did she live with you? Did you love her?"

"Who the fuck do you think you are? What makes you think you have any kind of right to come here and put me on trial, Doug?"

"I'm your brother, Pacey." Doug stated simply. "And just because you were able to walk away and pretend your past didn't happen, doesn't mean the rest of us could. We had to walk by that fucking dock every day. We had to live with what you left behind."

"And I didn't have to live with it, right? I didn't have to live with what I'd done. I didn't have to think about how you guys might feel, didn't have to regret it every second? Is that what you think, Doug? That this was easy for me?"

"No, Pacey. I don't think it was easy. I'm sure it was hard as hell." Doug stood up and started toward the door.

"But nothing compared to this now, right?" Pacey's fists clenched at his sides, irritation plain on his face. "Jesus, you and Joey do sound alike."

"You ever think that maybe that's because we're both telling you the truth, Pace?"

"I'm not going to run away again," he said the words softly, but he knew Doug heard him. "I swear I won't. Not even if it gets tough. Not even if Joey tells me she wants nothing to do with me. Hell, not even if she and Dawson have sex right in front of me."

Doug grimaced. "Thanks for that visual, little brother."

"I'm staying."

Doug nodded and leaned against the door, looking back at Pacey. "I believe you. So," he smiled, "you wanna go have some lunch?"

"Are you going to punch me again?"

Laughing, Doug stepped into the elevator. "Only if you don't offer to pay."

~**~  
Joey looked up at the knock on her door. "Yeah?"

"Is it safe to come in?"

She watched as the door opened just a bit. "That depends. By safe do you mean Pacey's not in here naked and ravishing me, or do you mean you're not in the target sights of some semi-automatic weapon?"

"Either? Or both." The door opened wider and Dawson looked into the room. "Preferably both."

Joey sat up and pulled her knees to her chest, adjusting the covers around her. "Safe enough."

He walked in and sat on the end of the bed. "It pisses me off that he has this power over you."

"Is this some sort of new way of apologizing?"

"I wasn't aware that I was apologizing," Dawson stated.

"Dawson, I've been in love with Pacey for ten years, maybe longer. I've been…"

"Maybe longer?"

She stopped talking, looking at him. "What?"

"Maybe longer?" Suddenly the question seemed volatile.

"What?"

"Maybe. Longer?" He stated each word clearly, enunciating as if she were a small child.

Joey laughed uncomfortably. "You don't honestly think that he just kissed me one day on the side of the road and I fell in love with him, do you? You don't think that it hadn't been building for a while?"

"Since the beginning of the school year, since I asked him to look after you…"

"Since before then, Dawson." Joey's gaze pleaded with him, knowing intrinsically that they were about to enter dangerous territory. "Why do you think we fought like we did? Why do you think there was always this animosity between us."

"You hated each other."

"There's a fine line between love and hate."

"Great. Now I get clichés." He shook his head, his expression one of raw disbelief. "You're sitting here, looking me right in the eyes, and telling me that all that vitriol that I had to listen to the two of you spewing out was just some sort of cover up for sexual tension? That you've been hot for Pacey since kindergarten?"

"You believe that we've been soulmates that long."

"I wasn't the only one who believed in soulmates, Joey."

"Pacey and I were friends."

"You were friends when I made you be."

"Dawson, do you really think that we hated each other that much? Who do you think we went to when we needed someone?"

"You came to me."

"And when you couldn't understand or sympathize because your life was too fucking perfect, I went to Pacey. He understood, because he knew that life sucked. Neither of us had it like you did, Dawson. We couldn't understand your little dream world, because we were too busy living in the real one. And yes," she insisted, seeing him about to speak, "even at the age of five. Why do you think we hung around you in the first place, Dawson? We wanted your life."

"Jesus." He shook his head and got up, pacing the room, his body practically quivering with agitation and disbelief. "I don't believe you. You're telling me that all of this," he gestured to himself, "all of what we had and were, was just some sort of stepping stone for you to realize that you wanted Pacey? I was just the guy in the interim? I was…" He stopped short, glaring at her. "Jesus, I was the guy I thought Pacey was, wasn't I?"

"Dawson…"

"Oh no." He shook his head, his expression barely masked fury. "It's fine. Really."

"I don't understand you, Dawson…"

"Obviously."

Joey sighed and held out her hand to him. "We've been best friends for years. We both decided we were better off that way, remember? That we were never going to set the world - or anything else for that matter - on fire romantically. We weren't in love with each other. We decided that, Dawson. Both of us."

"So?"

"So, why the fuck are you acting like a jealous boyfriend?"

"I don't know, Jo." His voice was thick with sarcasm. "The girl I agonized over my entire high school life just informs me, not so subtly, that not only is she not in love with me, which is fine, like you say we dealt with that, but not only does she not love me, she never did."

"I do love you, Dawson. I always have."

"Forgive me for not finding a single bit of fucking solace in that, Jo." When she started to speak, he turned on her, practically snarling. "I've loved you every day of my life. You're burned onto my soul. And now I find out that I've been suffering under the delusion that you felt the same way."

"I'm not trying to hurt you, Dawson. When we were together…"

"You were busy being in love with Pacey. You've been in love with a ghost, Joey. And you still are." He moved toward her, bending down so that he could see her eyes, so that she could see the hurt and anger in his. "You're too busy fucking him to know anything about him. And when he hurts you again? When he runs away or dies or whatever he intends to do this time to escape dealing with anything that requires balls, I'm going to have to pick you up from the ground. I'm going to have to deal with what he does to you."

"No, you won't."

"Why? Because you're sure he won't leave?" His tone was mocking, childish.

"No. Because you couldn't do it. You wouldn't be able to do a damn thing for me." Joey shoved the covers off and stood up, her body stiff with anger and hurt. "You were able to comfort me before, Dawson, because I didn't have any idea what fucking Pacey was like. Now I do. And you can't ever measure up."

~**~  
"So, how are Mom and Dad?"

Doug shrugged and looked down into his coffee. "Decent. They're still in shock. I mean, it's not every day that your son comes back from the dead. Well, unless you're on a soap opera or in a Stephen King novel."

"You know, we talk about me all the time. I mean, sure, I'm the guy who's been gone ten years, living the life of adventure and subterfuge. But, you know, it's not all about me." He grinned at Doug. "What about you, big brother? What have you been up to? Dating anyone special?"

"Not right now."

"You know, I realize that you must keep the closet impeccable, but the rest of the world is such a pretty place."

"Why are you so convinced that I'm gay?"

Pacey thought for a moment then shrugged. "Mostly because it pissed you off. But I think really it's simply because I never saw you go out on a date. Ever."

"I dated in high school, Pacey."

"You did?"

"I even had a girlfriend."

"Get out of town."

Doug shook his head. "You were much less annoying when you were dead."

"I get that a lot." Pacey admitted with a half-shrug. "I'm going back to the radio station. Thought if I went back to my job, it might help the nervous people relax."

"It's a start, I imagine."

Pacey sat silent for a few minutes, staring down into his coffee. "I know I didn't do the right thing, Doug. I knew it right after it was done, I didn't have to wait until Joey came back into my life." He paused, picking up a spoon and swirling the dark liquid. "I…do you hate me?"

Doug didn't answer him for a long time, not making a sound until Pacey raised his eyes. Dark blue met dark blue and held, something deeper than affection in them. "I could never hate you, Pacey. Do I think you're an idiot? Sometimes. Do I think you fucked up? Yes." He shrugged and grinned just a bit. "Am I proud of you for not running away again? Yes. Am I glad you're alive? Yes. Am I glad that I get another chance to be your big brother?"

He didn't continue and Pacey jutted his head forward a little, prompting him to continue. "Well?"

"I'm here, aren't I?" Doug laughed. "And it's not just so I can be near Joey."

"You better not be hot for my girlfriend."

"How could I do that when I'm so obviously gay?"

Pacey grinned and picked up his coffee cup. "I'd like to make a toast."

"Oh great." Doug picked up his cup, feigning boredom.

"To the Witter boys. And to the best brother a guy could ever ask for."

Doug clinked his coffee mug against Pacey's then raised it a little higher. "You just want someone in law enforcement to protect you should anyone come after your ass for lying, don't you?"

Pacey nodded and took a sip of his coffee. "Yeah, pretty much."

~**~  
"Murder should not be a capital offense." Joey stated angrily as she brushed past Jack into his living room. "It should be allowed, as long as it's justified."

"Come in."

"Thank you." She kept walking, not heeding the fact that Jack was still standing in the front door. She dropped her bag next to the sofa before continuing toward the kitchen. "I mean, justifiable homicide. It'l be the next big thing. You want a drink?"

"Isn't that my question to ask?" Jack shut the door and followed in her wake. "I mean, since I live here and it's my alcohol and everything."

"Fine. I'll make me one."

"Hi, Jack." He sat at the counter and leaned his chin on his hands. "How are you? Do you mind if I come in, even though I'm dropping by unannounced and you might be busy? You look great today, by the way. Really handsome. Have you been working out?"

Joey finished filling her glass and set down the bottle. Looking up at Jack, she took a long drink before speaking. "You do look good. You look like you've been getting laid on a regular basis. It's about time. You've needed it since high school." She gave him a thin smile. "Now, can we get on to my problems?"

"Jesus. You really should see a shrink on a regular basis." He took her glass from her hand and drank. "But whatever you do, don't see a Freudian. You don't need any more ego encouragement."

"Are you going to listen to me at all?"

"I was hoping I could avoid it." He slipped off the stool, taking her drink with him into the living room. "Since you've done one of two things. You've had an argument with Pacey, or you've had an argument with Dawson. Either one sounds like something I have no desire to be involved in, even on a peripheral level."

"It was Dawson."

"Did I mention that I've been having a wonderful, relaxing Saturday? That I was thinking of spending the rest of the day out by the pool and doing nothing but soaking up the sun and looking absolutely sexy as I lay there in the nude? Because those were my plans."

"I told him that I've been in love with Pacey since we were kids. Little kids." Joey took her drink from his hand as she walked past him and sat on the couch. "I basically admitted that he's never been the man I wanted, even when I thought he was." Joey looked at him earnestly, her eyes wide with shock. "And I think I might have moved out."

Jack leaned forward and took her drink from her again, finishing it off. "Jesus, Jo. Why don't you do something really drastic, just for fun?"

"Holy fuck." Her laughter was tinged with hysteria. "Wha…what did I just do?"

"Apparently gone certifiably insane." Jack got out of his chair and walked toward the counter, turning back halfway and staring at her. "What the hell did you do, Joey?"

She giggled nervously. "I don't know. I think I just…" She looked up at him, her eyes wide. "I…I…" She broke down into peals of laughter, her body shaking with a mixture of mirth and sobs. "Did I just do what I think I just did?" She sputtered.

"I think so." Jack sat down on the floor at her feet, staring up at her with disbelieving eyes. "You told off Dawson."

"I told off Dawson about Pacey."

"Holy crap." Jack shook his head and leaned back on his hands, his eyes fixed on the ceiling. "So, what are you going to do?"

"I don't know. I brought stuff." She looked over at her bag. "I hadn't thought further than the fact that he'd pissed me off." Turning her gaze to Jack, she bit her lower lip and shrugged. "We could go out by the pool."

"We could." He nodded and got to his feet, holding out his hand to help her to hers. "But I'm not going to sunbathe nude."

"Even if I ask nicely?"

"Even if you beg."

~**~  
Pacey leaned against the screen door, his arms crossed and a sly smile lurking on his face. When the door opened, he couldn't keep the smile from widening. "I got your call."

"It's Pacey!"

He pursed his lips together, struggling not to laugh. "It is indeed."

"Come on in." Jack backed away from the door, bowing as Pacey walked by. "Joey's by the pool."

"It frightens me that either of you have been near water deep enough to drown in." Jack laughed and Pacey blinked at the wafting scent of alcohol. "Although fire sounds more dangerous." He headed toward the back of the house, following Jack.

"We've been swimming."

Pacey nodded, surveying the scattered bottles that littered the table by the pool. "You've been drinking."

"Well," Jack thought for a minute. "Just a little."

"Right." Pacey moved over to where Joey was lying beside the pool, staring down into the water. Her long hair moved slightly in the waves she was making with her hands. Squatting down, he tapped her on the back of the head.

She turned over slowly, her eyes finally managing to land on him. "Pacey! Jack! It's Pacey!"

"Hey, Jo."

"Jack and I," she spoke slowly, enunciating very carefully. "We've been drinking."

"Really?"

"Oh yeah."

"Are you celebrating?" Pacey sat down and tried unsuccessfully to keep from grinning.

"Maybe." Her brow furrowed. "I had a fight with Dawson. I moved out. Of course, I forgot that I don't have anyplace else to go."

"Seems like you found somewhere." Pacey looked over at Jack who was dangling his feet in the pool. "You gonna stay here with Jack and David?"

"I might pass out here," she admitted. She was quiet for a moment then grew very serious. "How'd you get here?"

"Jack called me. Said there was a sexy, drunk woman by the side of his pool and he wanted someone to take advantage of her."

Her voice dropped to a loud whisper. "I think he meant me."

Pacey laughed. "I think he might've."

She kept talking, her whisper one in name only. "He wants me to leave so he and David can have sex."

"Yes, I do." Jack stated.

"All right, Potter." Pacey got to his feet and held a hand out for her to take. "Let's do Jack a favor."

"I don't think so." She crossed her arms, pouting. "If I don't get sex, nobody should get sex."

Pacey struggled not to laugh. "And you're not going to get sex?"

She shook her head solemnly. "I don't think so."

"Why's that?" He asked as he pulled her into a standing position.

"Because you're laughing at me."

"That I am." He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and started toward the door. "Say goodbye to Jack."

Joey pulled out of his embrace and wove around all the invisible obstacles to get to Jack. Reaching him, she threw her arms around him. "Goodbye, Jack!" She kissed his nose. "I love you."

Jack hugged her in response. "Thanks for the sex." Pacey cocked an eyebrow at the two of them. Catching his look, Jack laughed. "Not us sex. Me sex." He pointed at Joey then at himself. "Not us sex."

"Of course not." Pacey walked over to Joey and took her hand. "Night, Jack."

"Night, Pace."

He led Joey to his car and put her in the passenger seat, snapping the seat belt. He sat next to her and started the car. "So, do you promise not to throw up?"

"Of course," she nodded earnestly. "I wouldn't do that. Not in your pretty car."

Pacey looked away from the road at her goofy smile. "You're going to throw up in my car, aren't you?"

Joey nodded as she struggled to lower the window. "I really am."

~**~  
"All right, Potter." Pacey held open the car door and looked down at her. "This is the end of the line."

She looked up at him blearily. "Where are we?"

"Home."

She blinked, her entire demeanor sad. "I don't have a home."

He tugged her out of the car. "After Dawson smells you? No, you probably won't."

"No, no, no. Dawson and I fought. I told him that I love you."

"And I appreciate that, Potter. But I'm pretty sure that wasn't a news flash."

"I've always loved you," she stated seriously, leaning on him. Pacey winced as her interesting odor assaulted him. "I told Dawson that I've always loved you. Even when I hated you, I loved you." Joey giggled. "That sounded silly."

"C'mon." Pacey picked her up, slinging her over his shoulder in a fireman's hold. "Let's get you cleaned up."

"Oooh." She wiggled happily. "You gonna get me all wet and soapy?"

Chuckling deeply, Pacey patted her jean-clad bottom. "So you can fall asleep in the middle of my amorous advances?"

"Drinking makes me incredibly horny." She squeezed his butt, giggling again. "I think Dawson would really get the hint if you made me scream with pleasure in his general vicinity."

"He already wants to rip out my spine, Jo. I don't think I should add fuel to that particular fire." He slid her down so that she was standing on her own, letting her lean against him as he opened the screen. "We'll just take you in, clean you up and put you to bed."

Her hands meandered over his chest, roving in a generally downward direction. "Let's just go to bed, Pace."

"You smell like you just puked out the side of my car, Joey."

"I did."

"And you smell like it." He knocked on the door and braced himself as it swung open.

Dawson stood there, his face a cool mask as he stared at Joey. "Jesus."

"Nope. Guess again."

"Joey…"

"Ding. Ding. Ding." She patted Pacey on the chest. "Give the man a prize! What do we have for out winner, Pace?"

Pacey bit the inside of his lip to hold in his smirk. "Joey's a little drunk."

Dawson just looked at him. "She's a lot drunk."

"Yeah. Apparently she felt bad about your argument earlier and attempted to drink to make it better."

"I wonder what else she has to do that for."

"I can't think of anything, since she's not sleeping with you." Ignoring Joey's delighted 'ooooh', Pacey shook his head. "I'm sorry. I didn't come to fight with you."

"I can't imagine any other reason you'd be here."

"This is Joey's home, Dawson. And you're Joey's friend. My intention, despite what you might think, was never to come between that."

"You fell in love with her."

"Yeah, well," Pacey's hand threaded absently through Joey's hair. "I didn't intend to do that either." He took a deep breath. "She's drunk, Dawson. Are you going to let me in so I can put her to bed?"

Face to face, the screen door between them, they regarded each other. Finally, Dawson looked down and opened the door. "Her bedroom's the first door on the right."

Pacey nodded his thanks and picked up Joey's swaying body. He headed down the hall, careful to steer clear of Dawson. Holding her firmly with one hand, Pacey opened the bedroom door.

"What the hell!" The blonde on the bed grabbed the covers and pulled them up to cover her bare chest. "Who the fuck are you?"

"Sorry." Dawson came up behind Pacey. "Did I say first? I meant second." He smiled at the woman. "Sorry, Diane. I'll be right back."

Pacey didn't say anything, just moved to the next door. He could feel Dawson's eyes on him as he lay Joey gently on her bed. Walking back to the door, he gave his childhood best friend a long look filled with mild disgust. "Very classy." He shut the door firmly in Dawson's face. "Night, Dawson."

~**~  
"Did I get cleaned up last night?" Joey leaned over the edge of her bed to where Pacey was sprawled out on the floor.

"Why are you whispering?"

"Because my head is throbbing like something out of a bad porn film." She shook her head gingerly. "Did I?"

"No."

"So a small rodent probably didn't die in my mouth then?"

"Probably not."

"And there's not actually a strobe light going on and off?"

"No. I think you're just blinking."

"Ah." She nodded slowly. "But you are actually lying on the floor?"

"Yes."

"And why is that, exactly?"

"Because you were feeling amorous, and since we still have a lot to work out, I thought it would be best if our sexual encounters were all undertaken by two sober participants."

Joey nodded. "So, I'm at home?"

"Yeah." Pacey pulled himself into a sitting position and faced the bed. "Look, Jo, my goal here is not to come between you and Dawson. You guys are friends, and I can deal with that."

"He's still holding on to some arcane hope that I'll fall back in love with him." She shook her head, albeit slowly. "He still thinks that I'm going to realize I really loved him all along. And that's not going to happen."

"You guys haven't let all of this affect your friendship in the last seven years though, have you? Why let it now?"

"Because you're alive now. And you're not just some random guy. You're…you. You're Pacey…"

His voice was low. "Back from the grave."

"The man I love."

He smiled and shook his head at her. "We've still got a ways to go before we're up for that, Potter."

"The man I'm in love with," she continued on as if he hadn't spoken. "Or at least the man I will be in love with when we work past all our issues." She grinned as he did, inordinately pleased that she could make him happy.

"Like being dead?"

Joey's gaze was serious, intent. "Death cannot stop true love…"

"All it can do is delay it for a while," he nodded. "Not too much longer, I should hope."

"That's up to you."

"No." He got off the floor and sat next to her on the bed. "It's up to us."

"I vote for now."

"I vote for after we deal with one of the biggest obstacles."

"Your way has less sex than mine."

"If I had dealt with all this before, we wouldn't have missed seven years together."

She sank back against the pillows, resigned. "I hate it when you use logic."

He moved back beside her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and pulling her into his lap. "Fortunately for us both, I don't employ it all that often."

She nestled against his chest, a soft sigh of comfort leaving her. "So, what do you propose as a plan, Mr. Witter?"

"I think you and Dawson need to work this through like adults. You both need to decide if this friendship that you've had for the majority of your lives is worth saving. If it's something you want to hold onto. Because I'm not going to be the reason you give it up. If you decide that's what you want to do, fine. But don't decide that because of me. I can be your…boyfriend, whatever, while you're friends with Dawson."

"But can he be my friend…" Joey nodded. "I think he's grown up some…"

"I think he's afraid of losing you completely, which is the fear that fueled the entire fiasco that was the end of our junior year."

"Why is it so important to you?"

"Because I want us to have the best possible chance, Jo." Pacey eased her off his lap and sat up, staring at the wall. "I want to know that we're both going into this with our eyes open, being honest with each other. You're afraid I'm going to leave, right?" She nodded, knowing he couldn't hear her, knowing he'd know. "Well, Dawson's always been my biggest fear."

"Pacey…"

"I took that suitcase out of my car, Jo. I've gone back to the station and got my job back. I've renewed the lease on the apartment." Slipping his feet into his shoes, he stood up and faced her, his eyes dark and serious as he nodded his head, gesturing in the direction of the door. "Time for you to put up."

"Putting out wasn't enough, huh?" She smiled sadly as she got to her feet. "It would be so much easier if we could just pretend like the rest of the world didn't exist."

Pacey met her gaze with a sort of haunting grin. "What the hell do you think I've been doing the last seven years, Joey?"

~**~  
Dawson was sitting on the couch staring blindly at the TV. Joey left Pacey's side and moved to sit down next to him. "So, who was the blonde last night?"

"Just someone I picked up in a bar."

"No one worth keeping around?"

"In the light of day, the acid-washed denim was a real turnoff."

"Ouch." She scratched the knee of her jeans with her fingernail. "So…we fought."

"We did."

"From what I can recall through the alcoholic haze, I was a bitch."

"You were."

"And you were an asshole."

There was a silence for a long minute. "You should be used to that by now."

"I am. But it hurt a lot."

"Yeah. I know that feeling."

"Dawson?" Joey turned so that she was facing him, chewing her lower lip as she watched Pacey move out of the room. "Look, you and I…we're…we've…shit." She blew out a breath. "You're my best friend, Dawson. You always have been, you always will be. Nothing is ever going to change that."

He reached out for her hand, still not looking at her. "Not even him? Because it would seem to me that, if there's one thing in the world that can ruin what we've got, Jo, it's you being with him."

"Why? Why, Dawson?"

"You disappeared when he died…supposedly died. I told you that the other night. I almost lost you then, and it scared me to death. I lose myself when I lose you. And I'm afraid that you're either going to get so wrapped up in him that you slowly disappear from my life, or he's going to hurt you so badly that you do what you did in high school."

"All I can do is tell you that's not going to happen." She squeezed his fingers, staring down at them. "Besides, if you get pissed off because I'm with him and refuse to speak to me again, it sort of accomplishes exactly what you say you don't want."

"Yeah, well, I wasn't really thinking about that when you told me that I'd been delusional all through high school."

"You were delusional all through high school." She smiled as he looked at her, giving her a wry grin. "But I didn't hate you then because of it, so I think we'll be okay now."

"I still want to punch him."

"Don't."

"Don't want to mess up his face?" He asked with just a hint of bitterness.

"No. Because he'll kick your ass six ways to Sunday."

"I suppose you're going to ask me to talk to him now, aren't you? Pretend that I don't have this bitter resentment toward him and the fact that he's been on your mind constantly for the past seven years and he's hurt you immeasurably and he's just a self-serving bastard?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

"You're asking a lot of me, Jo."

"That's what best friends do, Dawson."

He looked down at their joined hands. "I really hate him, Jo."

"I know."

He stood up and nodded, releasing her hand slowly. "But I'm going."

"Yeah," she smiled at him and curled her feet under her on the couch. "I know that too."

~**~  
Pacey stood in the doorway, staring out at the dew-laced front lawn. He heard the footsteps approach, and he took a long pull from the cup of coffee in his hands. "When we were kids, everything was so simple, wasn't it?"

"You were the one who made it hard, Pacey."

"By dying?"

"No."

"By no longer being content as your sidekick?"

"This isn't about back then…"

"You're wrong."

Dawson's laugh was harshly bitter. "Of course I am. I always am where the two of us are concerned."

"You think this is about Joey, don't you?" Pacey took another drink. "It's not. It's never been about Joey, Dawson."

"Bullshit."

Pacey threw out the dregs of his cup and turned to face Dawson. "This was never about her. It was about you and about me and about how I thought you were better than me. But you weren't. You never were."

"I don't remember ever saying I was."

"You didn't have to." Pacey walked over to the sink and rinsed out his cup, closing his eyes for a brief moment. "Everyone else did. And eventually, when you hear something time and time again, you can't help but start to believe it's true." He took a deep breath and blew it out. "But when Joey and I started…well, I thought maybe things were changing. Maybe if someone like her could love someone like me…"

"I thought this wasn't about Joey."

"Having someone like Joey, someone I never thought would even pay attention to me love me, made me see myself differently. I stopped worrying about not being Doug or you or anyone else and just started being myself. And then you stepped in."

"I didn't force her to leave you. She did that of her own free will."

"I'm not going to let you come between us again, Dawson." Pacey turned slowly, his expression serious. "She wants us to be friends and that's just not going to happen. I think we both know that, because no matter how much you pretend you're not still in love with her, and no matter how much you have her fooled, I know the truth. You want her for yourself, and you're pissed of that I'm back because that's the final nail in the coffin of your chances." He smirked. "Pun intended."

"So what do you propose we do? I suppose I could run off and pretend to be dead, see how she reacts to that."

"You could," Pacey allowed with a nod. "But you're scared to death she wouldn't give a fuck."

Dawson didn't say anything for a long moment, his eyes narrowed in disgust. "Well, given that you have the track record of pulling off miracles, such as coming back from the dead, what's your plan for all this? Joey's not going to be satisfied with us hating each other's guts."

"I don't know, Dawson. I'm perfectly capable of tolerating you, I've put up with your self-satisfied bullshit for too long not to be. So, I really think the question you should be asking is what you plan to do." Pacey walked past him, headed for the living room and Joey. "Since she has no intention of leaving me."

~**~  
Joey sat in the passenger's seat of Pacey's car and stared at the house. "I take it you two didn't resolve anything?"

"Not exactly."

"Did you make matters worse?" She glanced at him and shrugged. "And by you, I mean the both of you, not you in particular."

"Probably." He sighed and closed his eyes, leaning back on the headrest. "Joey, you can't make us friends. It's not going to happen. There's too much water under the bridge. In fact, the water has breached the bridge, shattered it to tiny pieces and carried it off downstream. He's jealous of me. I'm jealous of him. I hate that the fact that he got to be with you for seven years that I'll never know anything of. And he's angry that I had your heart that entire time."

"Not that you have an ego about that."

"I'm not trying to be cocky here, Jo." He reached out for her hand and held it loosely in his lap. "You've been in love with me since that day I kissed you by the side of the road and I…"

"Longer."

He stopped and smiled, his breath escaping him. "He hates me and that's not going to change."

"So, what do I do?"

"What you have to." He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed the smooth surface. "I'm not going to ask you to cut Dawson out of your life. If I was going to do that, I wouldn't have brought you home last night. But I think, for your sake as well as his and mine, you need to stop trying to make us be friends."

"Can I ask you to be in the same room with each other?"

"That might be a stretch." He rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb and squeezed it. "Will the room contain lots of other people?" He saw her look and grinned. "I'll try."

"Thank you." She leaned over and kissed him, then pulled away. "I should get back inside."

"And I should head home. And then, go to the radio station since they were nice enough to give me my old job back."

She grinned sexily and slipped her hand down to his crotch, rubbing it with one finger. "I'll be your first caller, Radio Man."

"You call in, I'm likely never to get any work done."

"Goodnight, Pacey."

He nuzzled her cheek and whispered quietly in her ear, "Dream of me, Jo."

She opened the door and slipped out of the car, leaning down to look at him one last time. "I always do."

~**~  
The elevator doors slid open and Pacey stopped, shaking his head. "Man, don't you work?" He entered the penthouse and walked toward the bar where his brother was sitting. "I mean, aren't there people in Capeside who need to be protected and serviced?"

"I'm not the only police officer in Capeside." Doug ran his fingers lightly over the counter. "Despite popular belief."

"But since you are my only brother…"

"Something like that." Doug gestured to the bottles. "Aren't you going to offer me a drink?"

"Right." Pacey stepped behind it and pulled out a glass. "What are you drinking?"

"I have a confession to make."

Pacey pulled out a second glass and filled them both with tequila. The two brothers tossed back the shots before he spoke. "Whoever said confession was good for the soul was lying. Just so you're aware."

"I thought I was okay with this, you know?" Doug stared into his glass. "I mean, you came clean, you told Mom and Dad. You went to the gravesite…"

"It's perfectly understandable for you to hate me, Doug." Pacey poured more tequila, for no other reason than to break Doug's gaze. "I won't blame you."

"I was at the desk when the report came in. They faxed the pictures over as we were talking. I had to sit there, completely stoic and professional as these black and white and color pictures of your death came through."

"I…"

"The first picture I got was the name plaque. And the conversation lasted twenty minutes. And after it was all over, I had to drive over to the Potters. I told them even before I told our parents."

Pacey downed the second shot, afraid to say anything.

"Seven years later, I get this strange call from Joey that starts me thinking things I knew couldn't be true." Doug ran his fingers around the rim of the shot glass. "And then I get another call." He lifted the glass finally and drank the golden liquid down. "I thought I was hearing a ghost."

"I know…"

"No. You don't. You have no fucking idea." Doug's normally even tone lost its cool edge. "You spent seven years without your family, your friends. We spent seven years thinking you were dead."

"You're right," Pacey admitted softly. "I don't know. I'll never know what I did to you, to all of you. But I don't know what you want me to do or say here either."

"You know what the worst part is?" Doug continued as if Pacey hadn't spoken. "I've been trying to hate you since I saw you again and I can seem to do it."

"Why not?"

"I don't know." Doug sighed and tapped his glass on the bar. "I used to be able to do it effortlessly."

"Being dead made me more tolerable?" Pacey came around from behind the bar and sat next to his brother, pouring them each another shot.

"Well, I can honestly say I didn't hear a single gay joke the entire time you were gone."

There was a not-uncomfortable silence, neither of them sure of what to say. "I'm sorry, Doug. For hurting you. For being a shitty little brother most of the time, for making you deal with so much because I couldn't."

Doug nodded, not looking at his younger brother. Pacey rubbed his face roughly before pushing his shot of tequila away.

"I'm sorry if I made you feel guilty for even a second." Pacey spoke the words quietly, guiltily. "I'm sorry if I made you think that you failed…that you didn't save me."

Doug slammed the tequila down his throat, tears stinging his eyes. "I shouldn't have let you go."

"You couldn't have stopped me." Pacey reached out and placed his hand on Doug's forearm. "You saved my life that year, Doug. You helped me when I fell in love, and you tried to catch me when I fell apart. If you hadn't been there for me?" Pacey looked away. "Hell, Doug, I might really be in that box in the ground."

Doug didn't respond, staring straight ahead. "I don't hate you, Pacey."

"Does that mean you have no intention of slugging me again?"

"Most likely." Doug laughed and sniffed back tears. "Although I refuse to promise anything."

Pacey laughed as well. "What if I swear to lay off the gay jokes?"

"That's a step in the right direction." Doug took the tequila bottle and filled their glasses once again. "It might help, I suppose, if I actually introduce you to my girlfriend, huh?"

"Anybody can hire an actress, Dougie."

Doug laughed and raised his glass. "To my little brother. Welcome back from the dead."

Pacey clinked his glass against Doug's. "To my older brother. May he live long and prosper."

"I at least put some thought into mine."

"To the Witter boys? Long may they wave?"

"Is that another gay joke?"

Pacey lifted his glass to his lips and shook his head. "Just drink, Doug."

~**~  
Pacey sat on the couch and watched Joey's nervous movements. "You're kidding me, right?"

"I think it might be…worthwhile." She shrugged and sat on the coffee table, her knees against his. "You said you'd try. And he seems to be."

"I just don't know that putting me and Dawson together in a room full of potential weapons is really the best idea."

"Putting you and Dawson together in any scenario is a bad idea." She rested her hand lightly on his knee, rubbing the denim with her fingertip. "But he's my friend. My best friend. And you…" she blushed, refusing to meet his eyes. "I love you."

Pacey closed his eyes then looked down at his hands on his lap. "He hates me, Jo."

"He's trying, Pacey."

He laughed bitterly, "In more ways than one."

"Pacey," Joey admonished. She slipped off the coffee table, prying his hand apart and snuggling into his lap. "I can still play the 'I though you were dead for seven years, so you owe me this' card, you know."

He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer, his head nestled in the hollow between her shoulder and her neck, his breath and lips warm as they brushed her skin. "Are we still not having sex?"

She turned her head, her smile curious and skeptical. "Why do you ask?"

"I was just thinking it would be an excellent ploy for convincing me."

She leaned back against him, his hands wrapping lovingly around her waist. "You're incorrigible, you know that?"

He kissed her softly, his lips discovering the smoothness of her neck as he sought out the tender flesh of her earlobe. "I do," he breathed. "It's what you love about me."

She tilted her head away from him, allowing him easier access as she shifted in his lap, tormenting him as she settled carefully over his erection. "So? Dinner at Dawson's?"

"This is coercion, you know."

She wriggled slightly, her fingers reaching back to hook into his belt loops as she moved. Her voice was breathless with arousal. "Complaining?"

"Only because I know the second I agree you'll be halfway across the room and I'll be hobbling for a week."

"That's a lie," she teased huskily, her hips moving in a slow, tortuous circle. "Those phone calls we shared proved unequivocally that you're perfectly capable of self-satisfaction."

Pacey growled and grabbed her hips, holding her still as he forced his own off the couch. "I'd much rather find my satisfaction buried between your thighs."

"Ah, but do you want sex to be contingent on being nice to Dawson?"

He moaned in defeat and flopped back on the couch. "Hell no. I'd never get laid."

She moved off of him and settled on the cushion beside him. "So? Will you go?"

"You knew I'd go the minute you asked me to, Potter." He ran his hand through his hair. "If he's actually going to act all adult about this, I suppose I have no choice but to do the same."

"Always the bigger man," she laughed, her hand snaked up his thigh, the tips of her fingers brushing his erection.

"You'd be the best judge of that," his voice was gruff, jealous.

"I suppose." Moving her hand further, Joey covered the firm bulge beneath the denim. "I've sort of blocked the memories from my mind."

"Which memories would those be?" he growled as he caught her hand, pushing it back to her side as he moved toward her. "Memories of him? Or me?"

"They're both a little hazy." She looked up at him, her eyes dark. "I don't suppose you'd be willing to refresh my memory, would you?"

"Depends." He pined her down to the couch, his body hovering over hers. "Do you have any intention of asking Dawson to do the same?"

Her lips parted, her breathing shaky. "Dawson who?"

"I thought we weren't doing this." He stared down at her, forcing himself to resist the urge to lower his body to her.

"Are you going to make me beg you to touch me, Pacey?" The words were breathless, wrapped in pleading. Her shaking hands lifted to his chest, slowly unbuttoning his shirt.

"You wanted to wait," he reminded her, closing his eyes as her hands found his chest, warm against his skin.

"We've waited long enough." Pressing her elbows into the couch, Joey lifted herself up, pressed against him. "Don't you think?"

Pacey answer came in the form of a kiss, hot and hungry as he sucked on her tongue, taking it into his mouth as her arms wrapped around him, pulling him down on top of her.

~**~  
Joey tugged on both of Pacey's hands, walking backwards toward the door. "You promised."

"I'm fully aware of the answer you seduced out of me."

"The seduction came after you said yes."

"You coerced me with implied seduction."

"You're pathetic, you know that? That's the best answer you can come up with?"

"I thought it was pretty good." He stopped walking and pulled her against him.

"The seduction or the excuse?" Joey pressed her body to his, her breasts firm, her nipples hard against his chest.

"Both," he whispered against her lips. "But knowing you, I'll probably have to listen to some contrary, argumentative opinion."

"What fun would this be if I agreed with you all the time?"

"All the time meaning at all?" Pacey let her move away from him, falling in step beside her as they walked the last few feet to the door.

"Just remember, you promised to behave."

"Yes ma'am."

"I just want a nice, peaceful dinner. Jack and David are supposed to be here, so…"

"Don't worry, Jo." Pacey stopped outside the door and took a deep breath. "I'll be good." He opened the door for her and stepped out of the way to let her in. As they entered the dark living room, Joey calling out Dawson's name, the lights snapped on and the gathered group of people all shouted out "surprise." Joey stopped, stunned, before laughing and moving further into the room to greet her friends.

Dawson walked over to her and hugged her, deliberately ignoring Pacey. "I know you said you wanted a quiet birthday dinner, but I thought this might be more fun."

"So long as I don't get drunk and pass out face first in the cake?" She hugged him back, smiling. "It's amazing, thank you."

"It's not quite finished. One of your presents should be here any minute." He relaxed as the doorbell rang, looking at Pacey who stood by the door. "Could you get that?"

"Sure." Pacey turned and opened the door, freezing in horror as he looked up at the group on the doorstep.

"Pacey?" The bottle slipped from Andie's hands, shattering at her feet. She shook her head violently, her eyes squeezed closed. "No. You're not here. You're not real. You're not hereyou'renotrealyou'renothere."

"Andie..Andie." Pacey looked back quickly, barely noting Joey's frightened expression or Dawson's smug one before turning back to the woman shaking in front of him. "Andie, it's all right." He stepped forward, gathering her into his arms. "It's all right, Andie. I'm really here. It's real. I'm real."

"Andie?" Jack's voice came from the living room and he rushed up, shoving on-lookers aside. "What the fuck is going on?" He guided Andie out of Pacey's embrace and into his own.

"What's wrong?" There was the sound of leather hitting gravel and suddenly Jen was beside Jack. "Is Andie okay?" She looked from Jack, who had no answer, to the three standing behind him. "Holy fuck."

~**~  
Jen shut the door behind the last of the party guests and locked it for good measure, as if she could somehow protect them. Andie sat on the window seat, as far from everyone as she could be, staring at Pacey in a mixture of horror and disbelief.

"Well," Jen sighed and sat on the couch next to Jack. "I believe there's got to be some sort of explanation for all of this. At least I hope so, because I don't really feel like heading over to the retirement home and telling Grams that, after all these years, I've suddenly found out that I was wrong about that whole miracle thing."

"No miracle," Pacey admitted.

"Reeeeeally." She shook her head in mock-surprise. "I had no idea."

"You're dead." Andie's voice was flat and cold, shimmering off the blackness that stained the windowpane.

"Not that either." Pacey's arms dangled between his spread knees and he stared at his hands, though he wasn't quite sure if they were clasped together to keep them from shaking or to keep them from curling into fists and plowing into Dawson's face.

"It's a long story," Joey started.

"No. Let him tell it." Jen shook her head and glanced over at Jack, who was leaning against the fireplace. David was in one of the bedrooms, hiding and giving them privacy. "It's his story, after all."

Pacey sighed and glanced over at Joey, accepting the tentative smile she offered. "Rumors of my death were greatly exaggerated."

"Oh, humor. That's a great start." Jen took a long drink from the glass in her hand. "I'm sure that's what Andie used to get through the days she spent in the institution."

"It was easier to die."

Pacey looked over at Andie as she turned her head and, for the first time since she'd walked in the door, met his eyes.

"Wasn't it?"

"Yes." He held her gaze, spoke to her. "I hurt so much. I felt like there was nothing more. Not to live for. Losing Joey didn't make me want to kill myself. I just felt…empty. And I didn't believe I could find anything anymore to fill me up. At least not in Capeside. I had no intention of coming back."

Joey bit her lip and looked away, avoiding Dawson's eyes.

"I mean, what was there? Friends that matter, they stay with you, right? And school? Well, I think it was pretty obvious to everyone from the beginning that school wasn't my priority. I was just going to go somewhere new and set up shop and be someone other than the black sheep for a while." He looked at Jen, giving her a weak smile. "Then the storm came. And True Love…was destroyed. And, as stupid as I am, I'm not the one to look a gift metaphor in the mouth. So I let everyone think I was dead. Was it smart? In retrospect? No."

He got up and moved over to the window, taking Andie's hands in his own. "Did I intend to hurt my friends? The people I love? No. I never wanted that. But I was so wrapped up in my own pain that I didn't think about the repercussions. I didn't care about them. All I wanted was a way out of it all."

She smiled and nodded, shyly, sweetly. "I can understand that."

"And so we're back to Capeside most famous geometry problem." Jen stood up. "I really want no part of it."

"They had no intention of telling you," Dawson stated, speaking for the first time. "It was supposed to be their little secret. Joey and Pacey together again, living in their world of lies."

"But you made sure we couldn't do that, right, Dawson? That's your job?" Joey smirked. "You decided that you were hurting because all of a sudden I wasn't going to be the woman down the hall for the rest of your life, so you took it out on our friends."

"Were you going to hide it from them forever, Jo? I'm surprised. As much as I've heard about you fucking Pacey, I would think that you'd want everyone else to know about it too."

"So that gave you the right to play God?" Pacey laughed bitterly. "Oh, right. I forgot who I was talking to. You haven't changed at all, have you, Dawson? You're still the same self-righteous, sanctimonious, self-indulgent bastard you were the day I left Capeside."

"Oh, and your opinion means so much to me, Pacey."

"What bothers me, is that yours used to mean a lot to me." He turned away from Dawson and found himself face to face with Jen. "I'm sorry, Jen."

"I left this all behind," she stated softly. "Just like you did. Like you could have if you'd tried. You didn't have to die."

"I wasn't exactly thinking straight." He tried to smile and failed miserably. "I never thought, why not just move away and start a new life."

"You lifelong Capesiders all have that flair for the dramatic." She smiled slightly, just the corner of her mouth turning up. Stepping toward him, she hugged him softly, her hands touching his skin as if finally determining that he was real. "You're too much of a charmer for my own damn good, Witter."

"Thank goodness for that." He released her, watching as she walked over toward Jack. After a few seconds, he turned to Andie and kissed her softly on the cheek. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. They were having a sale on downward spirals, I actually got mine pretty cheap." She reached out and touched his cheek; he winced, expecting the obligatory slap. "I'm glad you're alive. Even if I want to kill you for what you did."

"That seems to be the general consensus." He reached up and caught her hand, holding it against his skin. "I missed you, McPhee."

Tears stung her eyes as she leaned in, kissing him softly. "I missed you, too. Although, you know, not the way I once would have."

"I heard about that. You and Jack get a two for one deal or something?"

"Oh, yeah. We get a discount on anything pink."

"I don't fucking believe you people!" Dawson slammed his glass onto the table; not caring as it shattered and shards littered the carpet. "He fucking treated you all like none of you mattered. He didn't give a shit about any fucking one of us when he sailed off on his little adventure that summer. Didn't give a shit about anyone when he walked away from that wreck like he didn't just ruin all our lives. Are you people just fucking idiots?"

"Dawson," Jack took a step toward him, stopping as Dawson grabbed the vase of flowers on the table beside him and hurled it in Jack's direction.

"Don't fucking try to placate me! Jesus Christ, have you all forgotten what we went through? Did you forget standing at the fucking grave and watching them lower that box in the ground and thinking that he was dead? How can you stand there and pretend he didn't ruin our fucking lives?"

"How?"

He whirled on Andie and stared at her in a mixture of shock and disgusted disbelief. "How did he ruin them?"

"Yeah, Dawson. How?" She moved closer to him, waving away Jack's step forward of concern. "How did he ruin your life? You're an established screenwriter now. You've written two supremely successful movies, one of which dealt with the very subject you're upset about. Jen's happily married and has a baby on the way." She was silent as everyone looked at Jen in surprise. "Sorry."

"No," Jen waved it away. "Go on."

"Jack? He's a successful therapist and counselor and involved in a committed relationship."

"Joey." Dawson stated, his anger still burning.

"Joey? Joey's a well-known writer. She's published several books and essays and is in negotiations to do a monthly syndicated column. How did he destroy our lives?"

"Have all of you just put our senior year behind you like it was nothing? The nights spent in jail, our trips out to the cemetery to drag Joey away from his grave before she made herself sick? Do you not remember being in jail, Andie? Waiting for your father to ship you away and lock you up?"

"You're angry that he hurt you. We all get that, Dawson." Jen sat on the back of the couch, her hand rubbing the smooth material. "We all got hurt."

"And yet you're acting like nothing happened. Like he didn't just rip us apart and make us all feel guilty. Like he didn't take advantage of our feelings for him."

"This is fucking rich." Pacey brushed away the hand that Joey placed on his arm to advance on Dawson. "Like what you did that year didn't do just those things? Like you didn't manipulate your friendship with Joey in order to have things turn out the way you wanted. Tell me, Dawson, if I had come home, if I had sailed into Capeside that Fall, tell me this, how long would it have been before you told me you slept with Joey that summer?"

The room went dead silent as Dawson and Pacey faced each other. Both were breathing heavy, anger and pain hung heavy in the room. "She wasn't yours."

"She wasn't yours either. Until you guilted her into it. You made her feel so miserable for having feelings for me that she thought the only way to prove that she was still your friend, your soulmate, was to be your girlfriend."

"How do you know so much about what happened, Pacey? I refuse to believe that you and Joey do more than fuck when you're in bed."

"You son of a…" Jen held Joey back, shaking her head.

"Doug was kind enough to tell me all about the hours Joey spent in the cemetery, talking to me, apologizing to me for what she did, what she said. I heard all about her crying beside the tombstone, begging me to forgive her for letting you kiss her."

"I did more than kiss her. And she did more than like it."

"I can't change the past, Dawson. I can't change what I did, and I can't change how it affected all of you. You want me to apologize for the fact that you felt guilty? I can't. I can't apologize for something you did to yourself. You felt guilty because you'd done something to hurt me and you didn't have a chance to say you were sorry."

"I'm not sorry."

"And I can't be. I can't be sorry that you ended up drinking and in jail for a night or two. And I can't be sorry that you've been able to be around our friends, around Joey for the entire time I was gone. I can't be sorry that your life didn't turn out like the fairy tale you hoped it would."

"You're not sorry. Why should you be? You're not suffering a single fucking consequence. All of these people, all of our friends, have just welcomed you back without a single repercussion."

"Right. I don't have to fight every day to prove to Joey that I'm not going to disappear on her. I don't have to listen to her cry when she thinks I'm asleep because she's afraid that you won't let her have both of us in her life. And if you think for a second that every person in this room doesn't hate me on some level, then you're more stupid than I ever thought."

Pacey moved past Dawson and headed for the front door. He unlocked it and cast a look back at the assembled group before leaving. As the door closed behind him, Dawson smirked. "Wow. Pacey walked away from a confrontation. Guess you'll have to find someone else, Joey."

Her tear-stained eyes met his dry ones. "Fuck you, Dawson." She pushed past him and rushed to the door, throwing it open, not caring as it slammed shut behind her.

~**~  
"Pacey!"

"What?"

She started, turning quickly and staring at him. He was leaning against the wall of the house and his breath was foggy in the cold night. "I thought you'd…"

"I know. Gone. I get it."

"No. I don't mean…" She pushed her hair away from her face and let out a long sigh. "I didn't think you'd gone. I thought you left and went home, but I didn't think for a second that you'd gone." She took a step toward him, her head tilted slightly as she bit her lower lip. "It never even crossed my mind."

He held out a hand to her and she moved into him, her body fitted against his. "Not once, huh?"

"No. I just wanted to catch you before you went home, so that I could go with you. If you want me to. Because I can't stay here anymore." She looked up at him, surprised to find that he was blurry, sparkling in the streetlight. Pacey's thumb brushed her upper cheek, pushing the tears away. "I love you, Pacey."

"Yeah?"

She nodded, grinning and sniffling all at once. "Yeah."

"You've got pretty good taste, Potter." He shook his head. "You think they've beaten him up yet?"

"We're not the violent kind, Pacey. That was more your forte."

"Damn." He sighed and eased her away from him before pushing himself away from the wall. "Okay, Potter. Let's go back in, huh?"

"We could just go."

"No. I may not owe him anything, but I owe it to the rest of them. Besides, you've still got presents to open."

"Oooh. I do. What'd you get me?"

"Not a damn thing."

~**~  
The house was silent as they walked back inside, joining Jen, Jack, David and Andie in the living room. "Where is he?"

Jack nodded in the direction of the hall. "When he saw that most of us were more in agreement with you, he headed that way."

Joey released Pacey's hand. "I'll be right back. You guys…talk. Or something that doesn't involve killing one another."

Pacey sank down into a chair and faced the four of them. David got off the couch and moved away, allowing them all some distance. "What can I say?"

"You're Ryan Wilson," Andie's voice was somewhat accusing. "I knew it."

"Yeah. Well, radio lets you be pretty anonymous. Unless you start a phone relationship with one of your listeners who just happens to be the girl you never quite got over." He smiled at Jen. "I guess congratulations are in order?"

"Yeah. I'd have brought my husband along, but Dawson doesn't really approve of him. If you'd been around senior year, you'd know why. Drue was…well, he was something of a nuisance to the grieving pair."

"I'm sorry. I don't think I can say that enough."

"You can. You can say it too much." Jen glanced at Jack before looking back at Pacey. "Jack let me know after he saw you. We were trying to figure out how to tell Andie. I think we tend to shelter her too much, since she's obviously the strongest of all of us."

"The drugs have to be good for something," she laughed.

"We…I," Jen shook her head, not willing to speak for anyone but herself. "When I left New York, it was like I dropped off the face of the earth. I, better than anyone, know how much you can need that. Did you do the right thing? No, I don't think so. But you did the human thing. When you hurt and you don't know where to turn…sometimes you run."

"Just promise us one thing?" Andie asked, implying her agreement with Jen.

"What's that?" His voice broke, thick with emotion.

"Run to us."

~**~  
Joey opened Dawson's door and slipped into his room, moving through the darkness through the familiar space. Without thought, she went to the closet and opened the door, sinking down across from him. "We're getting a little old for this, aren't we?"

"You didn't have to join me."

"No one is arguing with the fact that he hurt us, Dawson. No one is saying that he didn't change our lives with what he did. No one's disagreeing with you. But you have to let it go. Who we are now, we are because of what he did. He made us do things differently. Don't tell me you're not happy with your life."

"What am I supposed to be happy about, Jo? The nameless, faceless women that parade through this house? The life I live, running from site to site and never being in one place, with one girl more than a month or so?"

"That's the life you wanted, Dawson. You chose it. He didn't choose it for you."

"He may as well have."

Joey pursed her lips together and inhaled, holding the breath for a long moment before letting it out slowly. "This isn't about anything but me, is it?"

"Jo, you know how I feel about you."

"No. You don't even know how you feel about me, Dawson. Because you've been lying to yourself for the past seven years, if not longer. You're not in love with me."

"How do you know?"

"Because, Dawson, until Pacey came back into our lives, you didn't give a shit about who I dated or who I loved. You didn't care when I was engaged to Matthew. You didn't care when you asked Cynthia to marry you."

"Doesn't the fact that neither of us managed to go through with those make you think?"

"Yeah. It makes me think that Matthew wasn't Pacey, just like none of them were Pacey. And it makes me think that Cynthia wanted nothing more to do with you when she found out that you couldn't make her a star." She reached out and rested her hand on the top of his. "I'll never not love you, Dawson. You've been my best friend my whole life. I don't want to lose you."

"I made you chose back then, Joey. Did you make the choice you wanted?"

"You didn't make me choose, Dawson. I made the choice I thought I could live with at the time. But this time…if you ask me to choose…"

"I won't. I already know what your answer is." He laughed softly. "I don't suppose if I ran off and died, you'd change your mind."

"Not about loving Pacey." She took his other hand and pulled him toward her, touching her forehead to his. "But, Dawson? I need you in my life. So please don't go doing anything to change your place in it."

"Right."

"Dawson?" She met his eyes and held them, smiling softly. "Promise me."

"Jo…"

"Promise me. Because I've already had to bury the man I love. I don't want to lose the man who loves me."

~**~  
They all stood around the cars, hugging and saying goodbye. Joey hugged Jen and patted her on the stomach. "You're going to be a mom. I find that insane."

"How do you think I feel?"

"Even worse, Drue's going to be a dad." Jack shivered. "I fear for the future."

"Shut up." Jen elbowed him in the stomach. "Jerk."

"You still love me." Jack wrapped his arm around her and kissed the top of her head. "If only you were more my type."

"Er." David cleared his throat. "As the potential replacee, is it wrong for me to say that I'm ever so glad you're not?"

"Not wrong at all." Jen moved away from Jack and into David's embrace. "But don't worry, honey. You know I love you best."

"Thanks." He hugged her tightly. When he released her, Jen turned and looked at Pacey who was standing silently by Joey's side.

"You gonna say goodbye this time, Pace?"

"Only if you promise it won't be so long between visits."

"That's sort of up to you. You were the one that disappeared, after all."

"Damn. That's right." He nodded. "I'll see ya, Lindley."

She shook her head. "That ain't gonna cut it, Witter." She grabbed him and hugged him, burying her head in his chest. He could feel the damp of her tears stain his shirt. "Don't you fucking disappear again, you lousy bastard."

He placed his fingertip under her chin and raised her eyes to his. "I promise."

She smacked him on the arm and backed away. "Well, good then." She turned toward her car and leaned against it as Andie moved toward Pacey.

"Have a safe flight, McPhee."

"I've got my radio tuned, Mr. Wilson."

He laughed softly, his hand stroking her hair. "Thanks for not hating me."

"I tried to, for a long time. But part of my recovery was letting you go. Letting all of that go." She touched his face, feeling him, her eyes closed. "I'm glad you're not dead."

"Yeah. Me too."

She moved away and climbed in the passenger's seat of Jen's car. He wrapped his arm around Joey's shoulders as they pulled out, followed by Jack's car. "Shall we go home, Mr. Witter?"

"You're coming home with me?"

She nodded, not looking at him. "I want to. You still owe me a present. Or, technically, seven years of them."

"Only six."

"Right." She looked at him expectantly. "Well?"

"What?"

"Ask me to go."

"Josephine? Will you come home with me?"

"About damn time you asked." He laughed and kissed her before pushing her away from him. He opened the car door for her just as the front door opened. Dawson stepped out onto the porch and walked toward them slowly.

"I've got a shoot starting on Monday."

"Then it looks like you're having lasagna tomorrow for dinner." She glanced at Pacey who was standing very quietly. "It's a tradition. Before Dawson takes off on a shoot, I make him dinner and we watch a movie."

"ET?"

"Sometimes." Dawson's voice was slightly defensive.

"I'll make sure to have her home in time." He smiled at Joey then looked at Dawson. "When's show time?"

"I leave early. So, not too late."

"She'll be here early."

Dawson held Pacey's gaze for a long moment, the air still not clear between them. "Thank you."

"Not a problem."

~**~  
Joey glanced over at Pacey, watching him tap his fingers as he drove. The music was low and soft, filling the car. He turned into the garage beneath his building and pulling into his spot. "What is it?"

"What?"

"You've been staring at me for the last 20 minutes."

"Have I?"

"C'mon, Jo. We've gotten this far. Let's not play games."

"I'm not. It just didn't seem like that long." She unhooked her seat belt and turned to face him, her knee resting on the seat. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"Being alive. Being here. Being nice to him. Still loving me."

"Jo…"

"He said something the other day during our fight. He said a piece of me died when I though you did. He was right."

"I…"

"I didn't stop living, though. And I didn't not fall in love again. But I think I knew I couldn't give up on you until I had something tangible."

"And it never came?"

"But it did." She touched his arm softly. "You did."

"So now that I'm real and here…"

"I can let go."

Pacey closed his eyes and rested his head back against the seat. "So, what have I been fighting for?"

"Because the Pacey Witter I was in love with did die in that wreck. Just like, when she got the news, his Joey Potter ceased to exist." She took his hand that was curled around the steering wheel. "But the Joey Potter I am now? The one who's suffered through all this and grown up? That Joey Potter is in love with the Pacey Witter you are now."

He gave her a slow, sly grin; his blue eyes dancing in the pale lighting of the garage. "So you think if the Pacey Witter I am now happened to reach over," he curled his hand around the back of her neck and slowly drew her toward him. He paused, just a breath away. "And try and kiss you, there's a good chance he'd succeed?"

She smiled, her lips parted in invitation. "I'd say there's a very good chance."

"And," he paused, his lips brushing over hers lightly. "Suppose I were to," again, he teased her, feeling her move closer as he pulled away from prolonged contact, "carry you upstairs," his body moved forward, turning so he could advance on her, his comforting weight above her as she leaned back against the door.

Joey's soft, hungry gasps inhaled him, breathing him in.

"Lay you on my bed," He muttered the warm words against her neck, driving shivers of pleasure down her spine. "Kiss you here," his fingertip trailed along her collarbone before sweeping over her shirt to the curve of her breast. "Here." It drifted lower, across the slope of her stomach to the small indentation of her navel. "Here."

She caught his hand and brought his finger to her lips, kissing the tip before pulling it into her mouth and sucking lightly. Pacey growled in response, a low sound of desire rumbling against the sensitive flesh just beneath her ear. She held the tip lighting in her teeth before releasing it, turning to bury her head in the hollow of his shoulder, her lips against his skin. "Pacey?"

He pulled back, his eyes closed. Joey watched him in confusion until he turned his smile on her and opened his eyes slowly, the blue liquid with desire. "This is going to be the longest elevator ride in history."

He opened his door and climbed out of the car. Joey followed suit, a few steps ahead of him. When she reached the elevator doors, she turned around and smiled slyly before tugging her shirt over her head. "You've got no idea."

~**~  
The key slid into the slot and the rushing sound of the elevator's arrival did nothing to drown out the sound of his blood pounding through his veins. He bent his head to capture one of her bare breasts in his mouth, pinning her against the garage wall.

Joey moaned as his mouth engulfed her, lips and tongue bathing her pale skin in heat. The elevator doors slid open and it took all of her strength to guide him into the plush car before the doors closed on them.

"What's the…oh," she blinked rapidly as he nibbled on the hard nipple with his teeth. "Code."

Pacey's hand unfastened the button on her jeans. "No clue," he mumbled as he kissed his way over to her other breast.

"Pacey," she panted.

"Fuck." He tore himself away from her compliant flesh and leaned against the wall, his forehead resting on the arm that framed the top of the keypad. He pressed the numbers quickly, cursing softly as it beeped at him.

He forced himself to slow down, hitting each key carefully. Joey's hand curled around his waist, settling over his erection as it strained against his jeans. "You're taking forever." Her other hand came around and unhooked his belt, easing away leather as she undid his fly.

"Jesus." Pacey thrust into her hand as he hit the last key, setting the car in motion. He turned and advanced on her, stalking her to the opposite side of the car. His hands eased her jeans down over his hips as his teeth scraped over the silky material of her panties. As she shivered, he stood and kissed her, his tongue pushing past her parted lips as his hand slid beneath her panties.

The rough metal of the zipper teeth scraped the back of his hand as he pushed the denim down further, his palm cupping silky hair and silkier flesh as his fingers penetrated her slick folds.

Joey rose on tiptoe, her fingers digging into his shoulders as he pushed up into her. The sound of floors rushing by white noise to accompany the soft cries of excitement that forced their way from between her lips.

Her leg curled around his, pulling him closer as she took control of the kiss, sucking on his tongue. Pacey slid his free hand under her ass and lifted her as the elevator slowed, the doors opened and they stumbled out into the expanse of his living room.

The nearest object was the bar and he hoisted her onto it, tugging at her jeans and panties and pushing them to the floor. She'd let her shirt drop as soon as they'd crossed into the room and she sat there before him completely naked on the cherry wood.

They were silent for long seconds, both breathing heavy in the quiet until, with a fluid motion, Pacey spread her knees apart and buried his tongue inside her.

"Holy…" Joey tugged his short, dark hair, holding tightly as she arched her back, tilting her hips and body closer to his eager mouth.

Pacey licked and sucked at rosy, swollen skin; his hands under her ass and holding her before him. She writhed around him, her knees looped over his shoulders as his tongue traced new trails between her thighs.

His tongue finally settled over her clit and he took the hard nub into his mouth, sucking it gently. Joey gasped and dug her heels into his back, coming against the damn of his eager tongue.

~**~  
As she shivered with reaction, her body trembling, Pacey undressed and knelt on the barstool beside her. He slowly crawled onto the bar, a predatory advance as she lay back and spread her legs to accommodate him.

Neither spoke as he entered her, as her legs locked around his hips. No words as one hand curled around the edge of the bar and the other curled around the nape of her neck, his weight and strength and needy thrusts holding her against the dark wood.

Her mouth opened in a wordless cry as the rest of her body closed around him. This time her heels dug in lower as he continued moving, thrusting inside her as she came, groaning her name deeply as her muscles constricted, relentless against his hardened flesh.

With a quick jerk, his body gave in, spasming harshly, imprisoned between her legs. He continued to move, his strokes smoother and slower as he rode out the subtle aftereffects. He felt her body loosen around him as he lay there above her. She wrapped her arms around him as she felt his body begin to shake with soft, silent sobs.

"I wish I could take it back."

He didn't speak as he turned his head slightly, his tears staining her neck. "Not this…not any of this. But I wish that I hadn't let him walk me home that night. I wish I'd pushed him away and run after you and begged you to take me with you."

He chuckled softly, the sound muffled by her hair. "We wouldn't have made it. Not with everything between us. There was him and you and me and my insecurities and your overachieving personality and his…obsession with you."

"It would have been nice while it lasted."

"It wouldn't have lasted long enough." He pulled back and smiled down at her, his cheeks flushed from his tears. Moving carefully, he climbed off of the bar and then helped her down before sweeping her up into his arms and heading toward the bedroom. "We'd have ended up breaking up and hating one another, probably. You'd have run back to Dawson and he'd have consoled you on your broken heart. And I'd have found some cheap hussy at the local gas station, knocked her up and lived a life of destitution and fatherhood."

"I guess it's a good thing I missed the boat then, huh?"

His mouth curled up in a wicked grin as he lay her on the bed. "I thank you for my life, Miss Potter."

"You're welcome." She turned on her side, admiring him as he lay down next to her. Her hand moved to his chest, idly stroking the scar that marred his tanned skin. "I spent that entire summer thinking about what I would say to you when I saw you again."

"This would be the summer you started dating Dawson again?"

She smirked and poked him in the ribs. "Dating Dawson in that intrinsically harmless way we had." She ran her hand up his chest, over his hard nipple to his shoulder then back down his arm. "I was planning on playing it cool at school, you know? Give you a hard time along with the rest of the gang, tease you, ask you about pirate treasure."

He closed his eyes as she touched him, her hands roaming freely over his body as he rolled onto his back. She moved over him, settling her chest over his. "Right. Because I'd sailed away into a Scooby Doo mystery."

"And then," her voice grew huskier, dropped as she lay a spattering of kisses over his upper chest. "I was going to ask you to come home, see all the improvements we made to the B&B in your absence."

"Such as?" He purred the words as her hand rubbed his thigh, her palm barely brushing over the rough dark hair.

"New roof was finished." She licked his nipple and smiled in satisfaction as he shuddered in response. "New water heater."

"Wow. You guys were living a wild life, weren't you?"

"And then I was going to show you how we remodeled my room. Repainted." She moved over him, straddling his thighs and looking down at him. "Redecorated. New desk."

"Mmm." He took her hands and pulled her down on top of him, her nipples grazing over chest hair and sending shivers through them both. "I'm sure I would have been thrilled."

"And then." She held herself poised above him, her lips parted, her breath mingling with his. "I was going to show you the new sheets I got."

"Yeah?" The word was like something tortured from him.

"Yeah." She bit his lower lip lightly, pulling at it just enough before releasing it. Her tongue darted out next, touching his lips and tongue. "They were really nice. Felt so good on your skin. Especially on those long, hot, summer days. I'd lie there naked on them, the window open so the breeze could come in off the creek and I'd think about having you there next to me."

"Next to you?"

"Next to me." She gazed into his eyes, a myriad of emotions swimming in them. There were tears of happiness and loneliness, loss and discovery. "Inside me, beside me, around me. I missed you, Pacey. And I wanted you. And I've waited so long for you."

"You don't have to wait anymore." He rolled her over onto her back and stared down at her, his own emotions just as raw, just as obvious. He held her eyes for a long moment before moving away from her to the edge of the bed. She watched him go, rolling over to follow him, her hand on his back.

"Pacey?"

"You asked me for assurance that I wouldn't run away again, and I gave you the suitcase." He looked back at her over his shoulder. "But you still don't believe me, do you?"

She bit her lower lip as the tears changed and slipped past her lashes. The word was a desperate whisper. "No."

He sniffed a quiet laugh and shook his head. "Your birthday present's on the dresser. If you want it." He got off the bed and left the room, leaving her alone in the darkness. She lay there stunned for a short time before getting off the bed and walking over to the long dresser, picking up the small box that sat there.

His shadow darkened the doorway as he leaned against the frame, watching her as she opened the lid. "How are we supposed to handle the till death do us part?"

He grinned and walked up behind her as she slipped the ring on her finger. "Trust me, I've got that one covered."


End file.
